I Forgot To Tell You
by aspdstra
Summary: Set after "Crash Into You"; Lucas and Haley are forced to find out what they mean to each other; Chapter 3 (FINAL CHAPTER) is up! R
1. Island of Hope

I Forgot To Tell You

By trory-goddess

RATING: PG at most (pretty weird for me………heh)

PAIRING: L/H

SUMMARY: Haley and Lucas finally are forced to realize what they mean to each other. No one ever said love was simple…(Set after "Crash Into You"; title inspired by lyrics in Sarah McLachlan's song "I Love You")

DISCLAIMER: No. Let's not even make that trip today -- or ever. They're not mine…okay, scratch that, in my world, Chad Michael Murray is mine. My mistake.

A/N: Hey guys. This isn't my first L/H fic, but it's my first published one, so I hope you guys enjoy. We live in a Nathan/Haley-centric world it seems (I AM IN NO WAY SLAMMING THE N/H SHIP, I AM MERELY MAKING A POINT), and there are too few L/H fics out there; I figured I'd take a stab at it.

Some quick technicalities: all events before "Crash Into You" remain the same, the only variations lie in how everything come into play afterward; the core events of "Every Night Is Another Story" and "Life In A Glass House" have already happened EXCLUDING any interactions between Lucas and Haley and any hook-ups or romantic happenings between Haley and Nathan. If things are still ambiguous, leave me a review and let me know!

Otherwise, read on and tell me what you all think; feedback is a vital part of my daily diet.

*~*~*~*~*~*

CHAPTER I: Island of Hope

__

Every time I'm close to you   
There's too much I can't say   
And you just walk away 

__

And I forgot

To tell you I love you

And the night's too long 

and cold here without you

I grieve in my condition

For I cannot find the words to say I need you so

Haley James stood outside her best friend Lucas Scott's house, wondering whether or not she should take the leap and knock or just wuss out and go home like she always did lately.

The skirmish had to end; it had run its course. In all honesty, how bad could it be that she was tutoring his arch-nemesis? I mean, he should just get over it and move on; nothing was worth the energy and deliberation he was putting into, right? 

Sadly, upon re-evaluation, Haley knew that it wasn't so much the fact that she was tutoring Nathan, that bothered Lucas -- it was that, right to his handsome face, she'd lied about it; she'd hidden it from him. Yes, true, she had embarked on the whole philanthropic journey thing in the first place to keep Nathan and his band of imbecilic jockstraps off of Lucas' back, but now things were different. 

Nathan, it seemed, was losing interest in tormenting her best friend and was gaining interest in attaining her affections. All things considered, he was a nice guy when you almost physically beat it out of him; but she saw how he had treated Lucas, and she had observed the numerous problems that festered in his relationship with Peyton, and even though that was another can of worms all together, she was not willing to put herself at the mercy of his fickle and often erratic behavior. Perhaps he really did like her and she was just being paranoid. Really though, all she saw was that, potentially, she was a bad succession of meaningless hook-ups to him, nothing more than a momentary fling, and that was on the verge of less-than-kosher in her book. 

Why was she even standing here, procrastinating? She knew Lucas was probably playing basketball somewhere, she should just go home and sulk; that seemed like a better use of her time. It also seemed better than having to view his heart-breaking injured face again that he did so well. 

As she turned on her heel to leave, she came face to face with the aforementioned "Lucas", dribbling his ball up the walkway in his gray T-shirt and black sweats and wearing an expression that was a combination of curious and perturbed.

Of course she had to be wearing her hair in those low pig tails that he loved so much because they made her positively _adorable_; and of course she had to be wearing his favorite shirt on her that went so well with the brown suede jacket that went so well with her gorgeous doe-eyed complexion. This wouldn't be a struggle if she wasn't.

He brushed past her, fully prepared to be stolid and keep up the ignoring marathon they had going on, but she wouldn't let him.

"Hey," she called when he was almost to the door, and he faced her defiantly.

They shared a staring moment; Haley, of course, was looking more intently and he was feigning disinterest. Eventually he got fed up with the silence.

"What do you want Haley?"

At least she was being called by her name now. His question was lacking in the characteristic venom she was used to, but was nonetheless terse.

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Lucas…"

"No really, I'm curious -- as to what we could still have to say to each other."

"You _know_ what we need to talk about, Lucas, don't be stupid."

"I'm sorry -- since when do you get to call me stupid? Last time I checked, you were the one who lied," he recalled coldly, tossing his basketball somewhere in the yard.

"Look, can we not do this?"

"Do what? Oh right -- getting to the bottom of all this is pointless…I forgot."

"I am so sick of fighting with you."

"No Haley, you wanted to talk, let's talk -- why don't we talk about how you didn't tell me the truth, there's a good place to start."

"I knew you wouldn't understand, Lucas; I knew you'd over-react and I didn't want to make such a big deal out of it, that's all."

"You didn't give me the chance to understand…you were my best friend Haley; do you even know what that _feels_ like to be lied to for no reason?"

"Luke, you're still my best friend -- and there was a reason…"

"No good reason, alright -- and friends don't lie to each other."

"I know that --"

"Really?"

"Yes -- I never meant to…this all just got out of control."

"Tell me how that makes any sense, please."

"I know it was wrong to lie to you, Lucas, I do…"

"Do you Haley? The minute you decided to keep something like that from me for so long was the same minute you decided what was really important to you -- and it wasn't me."

Oh God…she had hurt him really bad, hadn't she? It didn't seem that serious, but she had _never_ lied to him before-- about anything -- her entire life. That was a pretty hefty record to live up to.  


"In what world would you ever think you weren't important to me, Lucas," she said, barely above a whisper in the presence of on-coming tears.

Great -- he saw the floodgates were about to rush open, and he looked away; he hated it when this happened. He had no resolve when it came to this girl, _especially_ when she was crying. Haley James didn't cry; if anything, she was the strongest person he knew, next to his mother, and neither of them shed tears needlessly. The angry wounded act wasn't going to last very long, he could tell.

"How 'bout in the world where everyone deceives the people they're supposed to care about," he choked to keep up his façade.

In actuality, the sight of the tip of her nose reddening and her big brown eyes welling up with sadness and remorse was enough to make him want to shoot himself in the head for being so insensitive.

"I'm an idiot okay? I admit it; I screwed up…I made a mistake, this is all my fault, and I accept that, but please…"

She trailed off when her voice hitched from repressing a sob.

"…please don't avoid me anymore, Lucas…I can't handle knowing you're _so_ mad at me and I can't do anything about it; I've apologized more times than I can count and I don't know what else to do -- tell me what to do…"

It took all the strength he could muster not to reach out and catch the various solitary teardrops traveling down her beautiful face with his hand, and he therefore balled that hand up into a fist, determined to get some sort of closure to the seemingly unbearable injustice.

"Tell me why you did it, Haley -- I have to know why you did it," he asserted, his own voice cracking in the process of trying to swallow the solid mass that had gathered in his throat.

Her vision wandered to his feet for a moment -- she had to tell him the truth.

"I did it -- because I was selfish; I didn't want to deal with having to look at your eyes and tell you I was doing something that I _knew_ would hurt you -- not to mention the fact that you were already going through enough -- and I figured the less you knew, the better -- whether or not I was doing it for you -- because I was -- but that doesn't make it okay…"

"No it doesn't." 

She hesitated at his harsh response.

"I know that…and I'm _so_ _sorry_ th…"

"Remember when we first talked about this Haley? Do you remember what you told me?"

"Yes," she concurred with a slight nod.

"You said you did it for me -- to protect me."

"I did."

It was his turn to nod, but something about his countenance told her that it wasn't to agree.

"Why would I _ever _want to be protected by a lie?"

Damn -- she didn't really have an answer to that question. It seemed that, since she didn't, he was fixing to walk away.

"Lucas…" she beckoned, her tone becoming shrill toward the end of her plea from holding back the tears.

He stopped with his back facing her and his shoulders somewhat hunched from the weight of his own guilt -- how long could he keep this up? Let's be real.

Unfortunately, the tasteless need to be stoic inherent to his gender was beginning to win out as he found his feet carrying him closer to his doorstep.

Not able to bear seeing him leave again, Haley covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her sobbing and revolved to face the front gate. The hand wasn't doing any good, and each break down gnawed away at his resolution. He was finally forced by his own weakness to look at her: her frame rose and fell in short spurts; he could tell she was almost choking to stay quiet -- no, no this was it. This couldn't continue, there was no way.

Tenuously, he walked around so that he was in front of her. 

Oh there was no way.

He placed his forehead against hers and his hands on either side of her face. Something about that made her sobs get heavier and worse.

"Hey…hey -- I'm sorry -- I'm sorry," Lucas whispered just behind her ear before kissing the spot lightly numerous times on impulse. 

This caused her to immediately close the space between them and wind her arms around his neck, burrowing into the nook that their differing heights provided. He, in turn, enveloped her petite body in a secure embrace, one arm around her waist and the other between her shoulder blades with his fingertips drawing lazy and comforting circles at the base of her neck. 

And they stood like that -- for a while.

*~*~*~*~*~*

How's that for a start? Sucky? Sappy? Let me know; I'm open to constructive criticism of all shapes, sizes, and colors (except orange and red, 'cause those are the colors of flames -- like as in a fire -- and I don't like to be flamed J ). 

QUICK DEDICATIONS:

To my support group and chat buddies -- Llama-Llam, Nater-gater-tater-tot (*wink*), Bumblebee, Mel-Mel, Pri (a.k.a. PP), Less, Precious (Helle) and any others -- you know who you are, you know you get kisses and hugs and _all _the mushies, and I love you so much!!!

And to my beta -- the great and powerful Marsh -- Surya: don't know what I'd do if you'd never Instant Messaged me; my life would be so much more boring…seriously. I love you babe, and just…thank you.

Alright audience, you know what to do. Press the button, brighten my day ;) R&R!


	2. Is It Coming Over You Like It's Coming O...

DISCLAIMER: Not mine.

A/N: Well thanks guys for the positive responses! I'm glad a lot of you are enjoying it.

There did seem to be some "confusion", though, when it came to my fic, and I would like to address it.

First, to Pearl: from what I understand about the show and Lucas and Haley's relationship, he wouldn't go for very long being mad at her. Angsty grudges is more the Trory department, from my perspective of writing Trory. That's just my take on it and my opinion; you're welcome to think otherwise. Thanks for the encouragement though.

Next, Complicatedazngur: I wasn't sure of whether or not you were trying to encourage me or not, but I had my reasons for not including the "hat bit", mostly because of the fact that, considering the time period in which my fic occurs, that has already happened. I didn't want to be repetitious. But thanks anyway…I guess.

Last, to sleepless-dreams: Thank you for being so supportive and encouraging; I appreciate when people give me valid and honest opinions of my work. There are a couple of things that I wanted to say about that though. A lot of what you said was probably because there wasn't the opportunity to put out a second part to the fic soon enough. I didn't ever mention it being a stand-alone and therefore was expecting there to be a continuation that would explain things more deeply. The points about Lucas thinking Haley is beautiful being to "soon" or what have you is something that I planned on explaining in the second chapter, as well as why she cried. I wasn't thinking all that needed to be mentioned in the first chapter. But I do thank you for being bold and sharing; I don't like it when people sugar-coat.

Well that's about it. Please continue to give me feedback; it does make my world go 'round to a certain extent. 

Okay, read on.

* ~*~*~ *~*~*

I Forgot To Tell You

CHAPTER II: Is It Coming Over You Like It's Coming Over Me

__

You know it only breaks my heart

To see you standing in the dark

Alone, waiting there for me

To come back

I'm too afraid to show

If it's coming over you

Like it's coming over me

Crashing like a tidal wave

Drags me out to sea

I wanna be with you

If you wanna be with me

Crashing like a tidal wave

And I don't wanna be…

Stranded…

"Why do you even own this movie," Haley asked Lucas as they both sat on his couch later that evening.

"Oh come on -- you know I have a thing for action flicks; the archive must continue to grow if there's any chance for male survival in this house," he teased with his attractive grin.

"Triple X? Lucas -- should I even venture to ask what drugs were impairing your judgment when you bought this…"

"You know, the normal stuff -- marijuana, LSD, heroin, cocaine -- I have it all."

"And use it all at the same time…God, turn it off, I'm in pain …it's hurting me Lucas. I'm _sure_ there's something else we could be wasting our time doing," she assured him while mimicking his slouched position and hugging one of the pillows that had been lying around.

Accordingly, he grabbed the remote and cut the TV off and let his arm flop limply at his side.

"You're right -- let's talk."

Haley laughed at this, unaware of the knots that fused and crept together in Lucas' stomach every time she smiled.

"Yeah, seeing as how talking is such a waste of time…"

"You're funny, y'know -- comical, even; I really -- can't take it," he jabbed sarcastically, receiving the soft thud from a pillow in his face with a smirk. 

The hilarity having died down, Haley adjusted herself so she was facing him, sitting Indian style and removing her jacket. Lucas followed suit, scooted closer, and curled up one leg in front of her, propping his head up on his hand while his elbow rested on the couch back. Staring occurred between the both of them as she took out her pigtails and ran her fingers through her hair; his grin widened when she sprinkled the fruit of her efforts on his sweatpants with a satisfied, wily expression. Then his look grew serious, the fiery light-blue orbs he liked to call eyes plunging into her pools of brown and burrowing through to her soul -- a strictly Lucas-like talent.

"I'm sorry Hales."

She grinned in understanding.

"I know…me too."

"I was such a jerk."

"Yeah…but I still gave you more reason to be -- and I _know_ you're not like that."

He reached over and combed her hair away from her face and behind her ear in response, his hand lingering over her shoulder and down her arm before finally returning to its original place in his lap. Why couldn't he stop touching her, for Christ's sake? He needed to get a handle on things, and they couldn't include her…all for the welfare of his sanity.

"Wanna know what made me cry," she questioned, breaking the silence.

His nod encouraged her to continue.

"The thought of having to go through another day and not being able to at least talk to you…scared me to death…"

Lucas swallowed to make sure his throat didn't dry up like the Sahara, the weight of her statement hitting him harder than he thought it would have.

"God -- that sounded so scripted and corny…y'know, have you ever thought you were trapped in a sitcom world? Sometimes I feel like my life -- is one big chunk of primetime television; that's how lame some of the stuff I say can be, sad as it is…"

"It wasn't lame…and it wasn't corny; I love that you said that," he told her sincerely, not making any contact with her besides visual and exercising the self-control he'd seem to have lost recently.

"Well of course you do -- that's probably the most ego-inflating thing I've ever said -- to anybody -- about anything."

"Sure seems that way," came his tease, and she shot him one of her playful looks of correction.

Before he knew it, she was fingering the front and sides of his hair as well, though not as blatantly obvious as he had been about it…maybe there was something in the water…

"I meant it, Lucas -- as needy as it sounds, I don't know what I'd do without you -- I don't think I want to know."

"Well…that makes two of us."

After a pseudo-sober moment passed, Haley batted her eyelashes in exaggeration, wrenching a chuckle from Lucas as was desired.

"Oh Dawson," she gasped, handling his face.

"Oh Joey," he returned, his eyes glazing over.

They then proceeded to tackle each other and engage in a mock-make-out session, a tangle of misdirected lips, dramatic, flailing arms and obnoxious kissing noises. Lucas took the liberty of biting her neck playfully amongst the tussle because he knew she was ticklish; her squawk of a laugh was enough reward for him as she pounded him with her fists and demanded that he stop his torture. 

Apparently there had been too long of a time lapse since their last bit of horse play, and it seemed that they needed to get it all out of their system right at this moment. They'd always treated each other as equals when it came to pretend-fighting; Lucas didn't go as easy on her as he should have, but only because he knew she could take it – besides, she was pretty crazy, and he had to defend himself somehow. With her, there were no-holds-barred; she'd open up a whole world of pain on his candy ass if he wasn't careful.

The final round came to a close, both their intertwined bodies heaving on the floor with Haley on top of Lucas, pinning his arms above his head.

"Pansy."

"Amazon," he retorted.

"Excuse me – but I take that as a compliment," she corrected, rising from her perch and lending a helping hand so he could get up.

"Well you would – probably why you watch The Client and Stepmom so much…*cough*SusanSarandon*cough*…"

She glowered up at him and swatted his arm, the anger intended off-set by her huge smile.

" Are you trying to tell me you think being an Amazon is feminist Lucas?"

"Oh well…yes, I am **but** – we will overlook that for now while _I _go make us some popcorn and _you_ put in another movie," he commanded, tapping her nose before she could wave away his finger.

"You wanna get me some ice while you're at it – I'm wounded," she informed, hinting at the growing bruise on her forearm.

He immediately backtracked his steps and examined the injury in question.

"Ouch…I did that?" he winced, accidentally touching it too hard.

"YES – you did," she gritted then snatched her arm away from inspection, "the ailments I sustain for you, Scott – I tell ya."

He gave her an incredulous smirking look then kissed his fingertips and tapped the bruise lightly. Haley grinned at this.

"Actually it was the coffee table, but blaming you was more fun so, hey…"

"I figured – and spare me the "Serendipity" syndrome; I'd like to keep what testosterone I have left after that little smack-down you pulled," Lucas called over his shoulder while heading into the kitchen.

She made a face behind his back, chuckling afterward then walking over to the tape collection on the shelf next to the TV. Her hands found their way to the siding of "Casablanca" and a devilish grin spread across her face…she figured he owed her and slid the tape into the VCR.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Taking his place at the fading free throw line the next day after school, Lucas launched an effortless shot into the air, not even looking to see if it went in -- he knew it did. Besides, he was too busy grinning at Haley sitting on the picnic table bench and doing homework. She bit the inside of her cheeks, trying to ignore him as well as the smile that threatened to overtake her countenance.

"No," she said blandly.

"Oh come on Hales, _please_?"

"I said no, Luke, what does no usually mean…"

"Why?"

"Because…"

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for a response.

"No -- you only ask me to play with you to make yourself look good…I, for one, refuse to be a part of your -- plot for -- world ego domination," she concluded, tucking her legs underneath her and shuffling her papers around in defiance.

Lucas chuckled quietly, picking up the basketball and setting up another shot.

"Ms. James…you are full of it," he told her, the last three words of his statement coming out as one continuous string.

"_I'm_ full of it? 'Come on Hales, play basketball with me so I can look masculine and macho when I beat you and win and stuff…' yeah no thanks," she mocked him, putting on her best meathead jock impression.

"Look I'll go easy on you, alright? We don't even have to do full contact this time, just HORSE or something like that…unless you wanna do full contact…"

She looked up at his leering through her eyelashes, clearly not impressed with the conversation topic but secretly loving it.

"Lame," she mouthed loudly, widening and rolling her eyes.

Finally, after another small laugh, Lucas stopped dribbling and walked over to her, removing her studying materials from her hands and lap one-by-one.

"Lu…Lucas…I'm not playing with you, okay? J-Hey! I was writing on that --"

"Resistance is futile," he informed, pulling her off the table top with her hands…well, trying to pull her off the table top, that is.

"No -- Lucas! I'm not --"

"Haaaaaleeeeey…"

Her literal struggling-to-obey gave him no choice but to change his approach and come up behind her, his arms secured around her waist (and just barely below of her bust line, I might add) as he continued to push against her resistance.

She gasped at the audacity and made her best efforts to get out of the tar-baby hold he had on her with the aid of her elbows.

"LUCAS?" 

"Please? Please -- please -- please -- please -- please…" he pleaded repetitively in her ear, hoping to weaken her resolve and ignoring the timed thumps of her elbow in the pit of his rather-muscled stomach after he kept begging.

"You're touching my boob, okay? That's sexual harassment -- _molest_ even," she said, barely able to look over her shoulder at him because of their height differences.

He gawked at her accusations.

"I am not touching your boob, Haley!"

"Yes _you are_, and you're _molesting_ me so let GO!!"

Lucas began to loosen his grip on her but tightened it again when an idea popped into his head.

"If you play one game of HORSE with me…just one."

"I'm n -- L --"

"Just one."

Huffing in resignation, Haley could hear his satisfied smirk when she finally consented.

"*_Growling_* FINE…but never again, Scott I swear, this the _last time_."

He slowly let her go, pinching her side for no apparent reason other than knowing it bugged her then reclaiming the ball.

"And this isn't the last time…"

She glowered and waited for him to take his shot from the side of the three-point line, which he made – of course.

"I honestly don't know why you fight me on this every single time – you'd think with all your intelligence you'd have caught on by now."

Haley, ignoring the bait, went to the spot that Lucas had previously occupied and mimicked his actions of execution, watching as the ball went through the net.

"Nice," he complimented, elbowing her in passing and making his way to the top of the key.

She rocked forward from the impact but remained silent with her arms crossed.

Lucas eyed her funnily before taking the next shot, figuring she was concentrating on her game instead of being her normal social self. Much to his dismay, she missed the next two shots, he could've sworn, intentionally, and she was still ignoring him. The conversation needed some life – immediately.

"Ho," he stated into the silence.

This caught her attention very quickly and she glared at him while he set up his next shot then proceeded to sharply slap his arm.

"I beg your pardon…"

"What?!"

"Tell me you did not just say that."

"Excuse me, but if you had been paying attention at all you'd know that you purposely botched two damn easy shots, therefore giving yourself an 'H' and an 'O', which spells 'HO' – I was just talking about the game, no need to get all upset, geez…"

Haley finally gave in, breaking into laughter but not forgetting to hit him in the stomach a few times.

"I can't believe you," she said with a smile.

"Me? You're the one who tried to give me the silent treatment, Ms. Stoney Face – I was left to my own devices, and you know what wonderful things can come of that," he explained.

"Wonderful – is that the word I'm looking for? Hm, no, I was thinking more along the lines of juvenile – moronic – increasingly and irreversibly stupid…"

He grinned, nudging her arm.

"Hey that's more than one word, try again."

"Yeah, I'd rather not thanks – and I'm starving, I must have sustenance," she called over her shoulder as she headed to the table to gather all her stuff.

"Wha – we didn't even finish the game, you can't just quit on me – that's cheating, you are a cheater," he accused, pretending he was angry.

She rolled her eyes while pulling her satchel over her head and across her shoulder then came back to stand in front of him, hooking her fingers in the hem of his shirt and kissing him soundly on the cheek three times.

Lucas had a dazed yet questioning look in his eyes as he swallowed tightly – really it was more of a gulp.

"What? I only had three more letters left 'til I lost and the game was over anyway so, I figured if I did a little penance and, y'know, endured the torture and hardship of actually having to kiss you – more than once, I might add – then I'd have appeased the gods and I'd be squared…game over, Lucas wins AGAIN, and we go home so Haley can stuff her face," she concluded, finishing her tirade, and then headed to Lucas' truck, putting her best obnoxious strut on display.

He chuckled to himself at her antics and tossed the basketball he was holding so it hit her directly in her rear end and therefore threw off her timing with a slight stumble. She glanced back and pretended he hadn't just pegged her in the ass or made her look stupid, then continued on her way.

The walk back gave Lucas time to grin at, stew over, and appreciate the concept of making "HORSE" a whole different kind of game altogether.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Alright guys!!! I do hope you enjoyed this installment, 'cause I did work pretty hard.

Chapter 3 (and the LAST CHAPTER of I Forgot To Tell You) is on its merry way, so keep your eyes peeled for it! 

Also, be on the look out for the sequel to IFTTY – I'm planning on calling it "When All Else Fades" right now; if that changes, I'll let you know!

Meanwhile, thank you to all the reviewers of Chapter 1:

BlueEyedPrincess01, Peter, jess, Lucas'sgirl, Lia, Robin, mai, alytere, xoxo-cmm-xoxo (*wink wink* What up homie?!), Icegirl 03, anonymous, Mrs. Witter (Oh Bumb – much love dahlink!), style, JeNsEnS wifey ChAdZ lover, Pearl, complicateazngur, sleepless-dreams, mary, TwinkieChica, KiKi, feigning innocence, cinnamon-5575, Hales, The Good Girl, and thirdwatchlover

You guys' support means so much to me, and I hope you all keep reading, because I'll do my best to keep writing! 

Thanx bunches, R&R!


	3. Home

I Forgot To Tell You

By trory-goddess

DISCLAIMER: Nope…still not mine.  Shocker, I know.

A/N:  So…how's it hangin' everybody?  I figured since I had some time I'd update and see if anybody still reads this -- I sure hope so.  I had a great time writing it, and I hope that plays into you enjoying reading it.

Thank-you's:  To Surya, for being an awesome beta and an even awesomer friend -- love you babe; also to the #1 Suser-Llama -- thanks for all the feedback, and for being an amazing person that I look forward to chatting with all the time; and to my love, the Naters (*kiss*) -- you're the best hun; shout-outs and love bunnies to  Bumblebee, Lessa, Tayce, Nat, Mel, Stef, Kelly,  and any other chatters I forgot -- you all rock.  

Onward, and hope you all like it!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

CHAPTER III:  Home

_'Cause it's you that I'm running to baby _

_And it's you that I'm feeling for lately _

_And it's like the pain that never goes away_

_And it always starts today _

_'Cause you are home to me…_

Standing behind the counter of Karen's Café, Haley sprayed and wiped down the linoleum top with some all-purpose cleaner and a hand towel - like she always did at closing time.  She had already closed out the register and put all the chairs upside-down on top of the tables; now she was just burning time until Lucas got out of his game and swung by to either pick her up or walk her home - like he always did at closing time.  But, he was uncharacteristically late tonight, and it seemed she was doomed to wipe the same spot on the counter until he showed up.  Oh the joy and the rapture…

Presently, a light rapping on the glass door shook her from the monotonous activity and begged her to answer.  Only one problem - it was the wrong Scott.

Trying not to appear crestfallen, she put down what she was working with, took off her apron, and made the trek to the door, unlocking it for him to come in.

          "Y'know, the sign says we're closed - for all of us who are hooked on phonics and can actually _read_…looks like we're gonna have to change our tutoring approach, you're - a lot more behind than I thought," she teased, not being able to resist a jab at his academic standings.

Nathan made a sour yet playful expression at her taunting, rolling his eyes.

          "Ha ha ha - you should ditch the whole tutoring thing, take your act on the road, you'd make a great stand-up comic…really."

          "Well, yes that is true - but my act would pale in comparison to your tour of the talk-show circuit promoting your auto-biography of 'I'm a misunderstood jock bully who suffers from commitment problems but it's never my fault'…"

He gave a surprised face at her wit, still grinning.

          "Alright alright, fine - truce, we're even, now would be the time when you tell me why you're here," she redirected the conversation.

          "Oh right…"

He got quite shifty and fidgety all of a sudden, clearing his throat more than was necessary - for anybody.

          "You weren't at the game tonight," he informed her, obviously not saying what he had intended to.

          "You know, Nathan, you're so right - could it be that I was _working_ - maybe?  Just a thought…"

          "Yeah, yeah I knew that…"

          "Right…"

Nathan was getting fed up with himself - this was just ridiculous.  He didn't get nervous around girls; if anything, girls got nervous around him.  But something about Haley made him lose his game - and not his basketball game either.  Rolling his eyes again, he decided to take the plunge.

          "And we have attempt number two, folks; let's see how far he gets this time," Haley interjected when she saw his mouth opening.

          "Anyway - y'know Prom's coming up pretty soon…"

          "That it is."

He waited for her to continue for him, but nothing happened.

          "Okay listen…I know you don't really know me, and I don't really know you but - I like you; you're a lot of fun to be with, even though we've only just done tutoring sessions, but whatever, and you're one of the nicest people I know - and - I think it would be cool if we went together."

          "To prom," she clarified.

          "Well, yeah."

          "You want us - to be each other's dates - and go to prom - together…"

          "That was the plan."

Now it was her turn to clear her throat and feel nervous.

          "Wow, um…Nathan - that sounds really nice and really sweet, but…"

          "Is there always a 'but'?"

          "I just don't think it's a good idea."

          "Why?  Oh, let me guess - because of Lucas…"

Haley shut her eyes briefly and sighed.

          "Yes…not only have I just got our friendship back on track, but he's still having a really rough time dealing with all the stuff you did to him and to tell you the truth - so am I," she confessed.

          "Look, Haley - I know I was an ass to him and - I shouldn't have done all that shit, okay, it was stupid - but I - I can't help the way I feel about you," he told her, his eyes growing serious.

          "Well, maybe you should try because us dating - it doesn't make sense, Nathan, it really doesn't."

          "I know…I know it doesn't, but - it can.  I can be a nice guy, Haley, I just - I need you to give me a chance - one chance, that's all…"

She watched as he handled her face, his thumb caressing her cheek lightly - and she didn't stop him.

          "Say you'll think about it," he pleaded, more quiet now that he was closer.

He anticipated she was going to resist him again and he accordingly talked over her.

          "It's just one night - I'm not asking you to wear a ring or anything…"

She chuckled at that and was tempted to comply.  But then she remembered a conversation she'd had with Lucas not two days ago, the night they'd forgiven each other and rebuilt their friendship; she was sitting on his bed next to him, and he'd asked her…

          "I can't - I - I said I'd go with Lucas."

Nathan became resigned and started to drop his hand.

          "So he asked you…"

She shifted her vision away, wanting to avoid the subject altogether.

          "Well…no, bu -"

          "Okay then," he interrupted, his smile having returned.

          "But - we said we'd go together, un - unless w -"

He stood, waiting for her to finish her thought.

          "Unless we found someone else to go with."

          "Hey, look at that - you found somebody," he said, hinting at himself and still invading her personal space.

          "But I don't think he meant…"

          "It doesn't matter what he meant - it's what he said, isn't it?"

Why couldn't she just say no?  This wasn't going to end well, at all - she could see the misery and chaos waiting to erupt, it was practically inevitable…but for some reason, in that moment, looking into Nathan's eyes with one of his hands on her face and the other resting on her arm, she couldn't think of anything else to say except…

          "Yes."

          "Alright - and whether or not you wanna admit it, I know somewhere, deep down, you like me too."

All she did was smile shyly in response - but she didn't say no.

She wouldn't have had the chance anyway, as their moment was interrupted by the dinging of the bell over the door signaling someone's entrance - and this time it was the right Scott.

Her eyes went to the direction of the sound and were met with a familiar yet saddened light-blue stare, and she froze…possibly from the frigidness of his somewhat icy gaze on her, but most likely from the pain of her own guilt burning a hole through the pit of her stomach.

Nathan appeared to be unaffected by the scene that played out and continued the exchange.

          "So you'll think about it?"

Haley barely recognized the sound of her voice over the low drumming in her ears from her heart ready to pound its way out of her chest, but she was somehow able to respond, even though she wasn't really looking at him at all.

          "Sure," she heard herself say, and yet didn't really feel like she'd committed to anything except willfully bringing more trauma into her and her best friend's relationship.  

Nathan gave her cheek one last brush and made his way to the exit, but not before stopping by Lucas' ear and whispering so only they could hear,

          "Oh and uh - sorry about the hold-up after the game, man - you know how the guys get - they always wanna mess around with somebody's stuff…had to be yours I guess…"

With that, he finally waltzed past Lucas and out the door, with no small amount of satisfaction.

The two remaining just stood there, locked in a trance and unable to understand what had just happened.  Haley didn't know why she felt so guilty; it's not like Lucas was her boyfriend or anything…

_5 MINUTES EARLIER…_

Lucas walked up to the glass, prepared to make his way in and greet Haley as usual, but then - he couldn't.  Someone else was already there - and he wasn't a big fan of that somebody else either.  He watched as Nathan got closer to her than he would have liked, his discomfort only heightened by Nathan's hand on her face.  He could care less about what they were saying to each other, why the hell was he _touching her_?  And why was she letting him?

Lucas had seen the way Nathan had interacted with Haley back when he and Haley weren't talking to each other and that whole fiasco, but he never expected anything to come of it, especially since he and Haley had reconciled their differences.  But there it was - the ugly truth - pointing and laughing like a hyena right to his face…Haley wasn't his anymore.

He couldn't stand it; he couldn't stand to watch someone else hold her face like that, or touch her arm or look into her eyes or any of it.  He'd never felt so insanely and murderously jealous in his entire life…and he had a pretty good idea why.

He felt through his memory and remembered what it was like to look at Haley's face that day, for the first time in a while, knowing she had waited in his front yard for him to come back; he could still see those pigtails, and that favorite outfit of his, and her expressive brown eyes staring back at him, begging for forgiveness.  It was the first time that he'd begun to appreciate how naturally and completely beautiful she was.  In the minutes and hours that passed, the feeling became more pronounced and he was that much more assured that something was different; she wasn't just his best friend anymore.  He just couldn't have been more convinced that Haley could have belonged to him - that she was truly his.  It scared the living daylights out of him but was, at the same time, more comforting than anything he'd ever felt for another person, besides his mom, though in a totally different way.  And whether he'd told Haley anything or not didn't matter.  That feeling had been his solace, and he'd planned to share it with her…eventually.

But now his faith in the strength and value of that feeling had been violently shaken upon viewing her - his Haley - with the bringer of his torment and shame, that ass bag who had put him through hell for absolutely no viable reason.  She was letting him touch her; she was giving him a grin that Lucas thought surely had just been reserved for when only they were together.  For the life of him he couldn't understand why - but he was going to find out.

Pushing the door open, he stood and waited to be recognized.  She was the first to acknowledge his presence, her pleasant expression flattening into a guilty representation of someone who had been caught doing something they knew someone else wasn't going to like.  All he could do was stare at her; he didn't really have any cause to be so jealous, it's not like she was his girlfriend or anything…

_PRESENT…_

Yes, Nathan did have the audacity and gumption to remind Lucas why he'd been late in the first place before gallivanting off like somebody who'd just won a bet or accomplished some devious plan - sick little bastard.

And yes, Haley was still giving him the same guilty look, it was so pathetic.  But even so, Lucas had to fight to be angry with her; he was fighting so damn hard…and he couldn't do it.

          "What the hell was that?"

His question ended up coming across as curious instead of upset. 

          "Lucas…"

          "What the hell was it Haley?"

          "N - nothing, I -" she stuttered.

She could tell by his face that he wasn't taking any crap, so she just collected herself and told him the truth.

          "Nathan - asked me to go with him - to prom - as his date."

If anything about his attitude had resembled angry, it was now replaced with heart-broken, and she honestly felt like the biggest bitch in the world.

          "Are you serious," he asked his voice becoming small.

All she gave in response was a nod.

          "What d - what did you say?"

          "I said - I would think about it."

As she finished her statement, she could feel him distancing himself from her, both emotionally and physically, and she scrambled for an explanation.

          "Lucas, you said that if we found other people to go with it wouldn't be a big deal…"

          "I know…I j - why does it have to be him?"

She dropped her gaze, unable to answer.

          "Do you like him," he forced himself to inquire.

It was a fair-enough question - she just couldn't bring herself to respond it, affirmatively or otherwise.

          "Haley…"

          "I don't know - maybe."

          "Wh - what does that even mean?!"

          "I don - I'm just - really confused right now, okay?  I haven't really thought about it and…"

          "Don't make excuses, alright, either you do - or you don't.  You can't ha -"

Lucas caught himself, swallowing the words 'You can't have both of us' bitterly and re-evaluating what he wanted to say.

          "You can't just not know," he finally got out with much difficulty.

Haley could tell something was different with him; he wasn't relating to her like he normally did, and he seemed to care a little bit more than was expected.  So, she decided to call him on it.

          "Why does it matter so much to you anyway?"

There was no hostility in her tone, but it had come out sharper than she'd intended.  She observed the changes in his countenance - from scared, to evasive, to nervous, and then - nothing…completely emotionless.

          "I don't know," he said evenly, throwing her words back at her and walking out of the café, leaving the situation quite unresolved.

Oh no, he was not going to get away with _another_ triumphant exit after they had a disagreement, no sir, not in this lifetime.   Sadly though, Haley couldn't leave the café as it was; she had to finish with the counter and she had to put away the cash wrap drawer and she had to lock up.  By the time she had finished all said tasks, he had already driven off and was long gone - damn Keith for letting Lucas borrow that truck, just damn him.

It wasn't over, Haley decided, and she followed through on her plan of making the journey to his house; it wasn't like she didn't remember how or hadn't been there before.  Besides, there was no way he was going to look at her like he did and act like he had and not have to explain himself - things just don't work that way, sorry.

Having reached the side door that led directly to his room, she knocked impatiently.

Within the confines of his bedroom, Lucas paced back and forth, his mind and emotions a wreck - he was definitely losing his nerve.  He wasn't supposed to utter a single word about his -- internal revelations until the time was right, and now he'd almost spoiled everything…actually, given Haley and her sharpness he very well had spoiled everything.  It was just - when it came to her, he couldn't fake how he felt.  Before that had meant friendship - now it meant…

Oh, someone was knocking.

Timidly, he turned the knob and saw that it was indeed the very subject of his inner turmoil and deliberation come to confront him.  Shit.

          "Okay first of all, this little bad habit you seem to have with - storming off into the distance, or whatever, and not letting me say anything just - has to stop, and second…"

          "Haley," he tried to interject, but she wouldn't hear of it.

          "No!  I am going - to say what I have to say and you are going to listen to every word of it Lucas, you know why…"

Lucas pulled Haley inside by the hand that was pointing straight at his face and closed the door behind her, almost regretting what he was about to do - but then again, not so much.

          "Do _you_ want to know why, because I said so!  Yeah, that's right, I'm telling you th- "

Impulsively, he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her - yes, you read correctly, he kissed her - Lucas kissed Haley.

It's not like she had time to really protest or anything; she just held onto his forearms and let him kiss her without either of them really moving - almost frozen in time.  It was a bit awkward, this having been her first real encounter of any nature - with anyone - let alone a guy she'd known since the age of bland, overly-processed and watered-down food that came in little glass jars.  But suddenly, it didn't seem so bad.

Luckily for the both of them, Lucas remembered that humans needed to breathe, and he pulled his mouth away though he was still very much attached to her.  They could both feel each other slightly heaving for air, as well as anything that came close to a reason for what had just taken place.  She was positive that was the purest, simplest kiss she would ever get from anybody ever in life.  He'd rendered her breathless, for crying out loud.

Picking up her previous train of thought, she continued,

          "…or, you could just - kiss me - and completely change everything…"

He dropped his hands to her shoulders, keeping his forehead pressed against hers.

          "Sorry," he managed…when he'd remembered how to talk, of course.

          "That was…weird," she admitted.

          "Yeah," he agreed.

Tentatively, she brought her mouth to his again, their tongues brushing against each other at a feather-light pace.  The kiss was over as soon as it had started.  She kept her eyes closed for a while, both of them licking their lips in hopes of tasting what had just been there.

          "Better?"

          "A little…why are we doing this again?"

          "Uh…w-well, I, um…"

          "Forget it I don't wanna know," she cut him off, standing on her toes and sliding her arms around his neck so she could kiss him more passionately, leaving Lucas to wind his arms around her waist and let her tongue do all the exploring it desired.

They'd probably talk about it later anyway.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alrighty everybody -- that's all for IFTTY!  I hope you all enjoyed it.  The sequel, "When All Else Fades" is already mostly written and mapped out and will hit ff.net shelves when…I have time. ;-)

Thanks to the reviewers:

turntable, amanda, i02heydude, wishingfairy637, Kay, jess, Hales, Sus-aka-Susie, Madj, MrSchimpf, Pluie Douce, jennycraig10, KiKi, and The Good Girl

You all's support means so much, I can't begin to describe, and I hope you review the next installment.  

_Namári_


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